Hamari hi galati hoge Hum hi acche bete nahi ban pae
Hum me hi kami hogi
Vo humari bhalai ke liye hi keh rahe hain
Is it all true?
Is it always true?
Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki kisi case me ye bate na ho?
Lockdown hai ghar pe rahe rahe frustrate hogyi ho
Na friends hai Na office ke chakkar Na pictures click kar pa rahi Na bahar ka favourite food kha pa rahi
Isliye irritate hogyi ho
Is it that only I am facing these mental issues?
Is this lockdown not affecting my parents?
Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki unhe bhi frustration hai bas vo usko face nahi kar rahe?
Hum ghar pe kabhi nahi rahe itne zada time
Or jab rehte the tab orders follow karte the, apna dimag nahi lagate the
Ab jab mere bhi emotions hain… koi kharab taunt sunna ya beparwah sa pinching comment sunna hurt karta hai hume
Ab kuch galat karte hain mmy ya papa to uspe apni raay rakhna ata hai hume
Is that wrong?
Is that insensitive?
Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki mmy papa hi bhul gaye ho ki baccha bada hogya hai to ye sab natural reactions hain?
I usually blog about almost every feeling I have
Lekin is ke bare me post karenge to dar hai hume
Judge hone ka dar Mmy papa kr nazro me girne ka dar Logo se ulta sidha sunne ka dar
Kyuki ye to ekdm mindset hai sabka ki mmy papa ki kabhi koi galati nahi hoti
Zarur bacche ne kuch kiya hoga Zarur baccha hi kharab hai Zarur bacche ne samajhne ki koshish nahi kari
Is it normal?
Is normal always correct?
What if hum vapis flat chale jae? Will that be ok? Kya mere jane ke bad mmy papa apas me thik se rahenge?
Oh actually! Mere mmy papa ke beech ka normal yahi hai. Ek dusre ko sunate rehna, taunt marte rehna, ek dusre ki kisi bhi bat pe agree na karna, har 20-40 minutes pe kuch b arguement karna etc etc.
Inka normal yahi hai. And they even dont have any complaints about it. Neither do they want this to improve.
As I said… mmy papa ka normal yahi hai.
Lockdown ke 5 months mere life ke sabse tough 5 months the! Din bhar inke arguements suno… or har choti badi bat pe papa ki “naa” ke liye ready raho! Sham ate ate 3-4 taunts ya child sensitive comments a hi jate the papa se… Vese mmy pura time humse papa ki shikayatein karti hain
Par agar humne kabhi confront kra diya to achanak se sabse burey hum hi ho jate hain!
Is it that I am mannerless?
Is it that I should learn how to shutup?
Ek bat to I have learnt clearly…. this is not my place!
I am someone who needs peace of mind… yaha possible nahi hai!
I tell you… I used to be someone full of joy, excitement, kiddishness, positivity. All these are hard to find in me now! I have degraded! I have degraded these cute things in me!
And the thought of being a badtameez kid for not understanding parents’ emotions and arguing around, this takes me even more down.
I once, after an arguement on my mom cried loudly on being blamed for everything wrong. Also while that I said “hme to aesa lagta hai ki hum sabse burey bacche hain” and guess what?! Papa agreed!
That moment… I could see all my imaginary tower full of love and efforts built since 24 years falling down and shattering into pieces!
Am I wrong?
Wrong for expecting my parents to give me a little space in my own house?
Wrong for putting my thoughts up when I see a little wrong decision being taken?
What am I wrong about?
For respecting my parents and not letting them down ever?
Or yes! I might be wrong for mentioning my parents-kid relationship flaws so openly and might sound like I am the most ill mannered kid around.
I tell you thats eating me up