Thankful

I consider myself lucky enough to have someone by my side.

By my side to identify the degrades in me

By my side to help me see me

By my side to pull me up again

Show me the world I belong to

Trust me throughout the process

By my side to take me through this way

Help me rise again and love me for me

please don’t choose reading this if you have another

Hamari hi galati hoge Hum hi acche bete nahi ban pae

Hum me hi kami hogi

Vo humari bhalai ke liye hi keh rahe hain

Is it all true?

Is it always true?

Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki kisi case me ye bate na ho?

Lockdown hai ghar pe rahe rahe frustrate hogyi ho

Na friends hai Na office ke chakkar Na pictures click kar pa rahi Na bahar ka favourite food kha pa rahi

Isliye irritate hogyi ho

Really?

Is it that only I am facing these mental issues?

Is this lockdown not affecting my parents?

Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki unhe bhi frustration hai bas vo usko face nahi kar rahe?

Hum ghar pe kabhi nahi rahe itne zada time

Or jab rehte the tab orders follow karte the, apna dimag nahi lagate the

Ab jab mere bhi emotions hain… koi kharab taunt sunna ya beparwah sa pinching comment sunna hurt karta hai hume

Ab kuch galat karte hain mmy ya papa to uspe apni raay rakhna ata hai hume

Is that wrong?

Is that insensitive?

Kya aesa nahi ho sakta ki mmy papa hi bhul gaye ho ki baccha bada hogya hai to ye sab natural reactions hain?

I usually blog about almost every feeling I have

Lekin is ke bare me post karenge to dar hai hume

Judge hone ka dar Mmy papa kr nazro me girne ka dar Logo se ulta sidha sunne ka dar

Kyuki ye to ekdm mindset hai sabka ki mmy papa ki kabhi koi galati nahi hoti

Zarur bacche ne kuch kiya hoga Zarur baccha hi kharab hai Zarur bacche ne samajhne ki koshish nahi kari

Is it normal?

Is normal always correct?

What if hum vapis flat chale jae? Will that be ok? Kya mere jane ke bad mmy papa apas me thik se rahenge?

Oh actually! Mere mmy papa ke beech ka normal yahi hai. Ek dusre ko sunate rehna, taunt marte rehna, ek dusre ki kisi bhi bat pe agree na karna, har 20-40 minutes pe kuch b arguement karna etc etc.

Inka normal yahi hai. And they even dont have any complaints about it. Neither do they want this to improve.

As I said… mmy papa ka normal yahi hai.

Lockdown ke 5 months mere life ke sabse tough 5 months the! Din bhar inke arguements suno… or har choti badi bat pe papa ki “naa” ke liye ready raho! Sham ate ate 3-4 taunts ya child sensitive comments a hi jate the papa se… Vese mmy pura time humse papa ki shikayatein karti hain

Par agar humne kabhi confront kra diya to achanak se sabse burey hum hi ho jate hain!

How?

Is it that I am mannerless?

Is it that I should learn how to shutup?

Ek bat to I have learnt clearly…. this is not my place!

I am someone who needs peace of mind… yaha possible nahi hai!

I tell you… I used to be someone full of joy, excitement, kiddishness, positivity. All these are hard to find in me now! I have degraded! I have degraded these cute things in me!

And the thought of being a badtameez kid for not understanding parents’ emotions and arguing around, this takes me even more down.

I once, after an arguement on my mom cried loudly on being blamed for everything wrong. Also while that I said “hme to aesa lagta hai ki hum sabse burey bacche hain” and guess what?! Papa agreed!

That moment… I could see all my imaginary tower full of love and efforts built since 24 years falling down and shattering into pieces!

Am I wrong?

Wrong for expecting my parents to give me a little space in my own house?

Wrong for putting my thoughts up when I see a little wrong decision being taken?

What am I wrong about?

For respecting my parents and not letting them down ever?

Or yes! I might be wrong for mentioning my parents-kid relationship flaws so openly and might sound like I am the most ill mannered kid around.

I tell you thats eating me up

Tip:
You’ve already spent half of your life answering their questionnaire and making sure that no one talks false about you.
Stop! Just let them! They carry legacy of a failure.
You have a good life and they a good ego. There’s still something you need to know… they do not have a life and you do.

Lockdown Heal Letter

Hey! I am talking to you.Stuck? No work to do?
Sick of being at home? No where to roam around?
No new places to drive to? No where to go to in your new dress?
Fed up of overthinking? Tired of memorising embarrassments?
Lesser rate of crimes? Clearer air to breathe?
No new food to eat? Missing different backgrounds to your pictures?
Sick of seeing positive sides say home time, family gossips, ludo, homemade food, skin heals and further more?You know what same here!
Also, I do not want to cheesily focus on the positive side anymore.Let’s talk about this. We are starting to feel dump now. We are weakening our social qualities. Putting on weight and started to feel introvert. Won’t we soon develop a habit of being in our own world even after this lockdown ends? Maybe yes!Also while talking about all this, I wanted to ask you something. With all these qualities lost and a lot developed, atleast we will all be living after a while no?
If not this lockdown then what? Million more deaths?
No please! We can not afford more loss.Also once this is over and we are back to normal living, are we ever getting this kind of home time again?
Look around you
Smile
And just take each coming day one by one
It’s easy
It will pass
It’s happy and will be happier soon.
So, it’s okay to put on a bit of weight and walk back to your workplace. You will atleast have all glowing skin around you who will happily be cherishing your presence and not crying on your co-workers demise.Thankfully
Another stuck human

Tip:

Not everyone around you is a competition. Not each of them is trying to pull you down. Not everybody is meant to be jealous of you.
There are some who just want to support you. They want you to be growing and happier. They silently push you up and will never even mention this in any part of their conversation. These people are gem. These are rare.
Kindly learn to differentiate and cherish them for life.
All you can do is appreciate them for their silent efforts silently. Do the same for them too. Learn to mention them in all your little successes. And be there for them.
Just be the gem, your gem was trying to make out of you.

Tip:

They have had this opinion since they were made to learn to have opinions. They were brought up in the manner which makes them think this way. They have been these kind since they were meant to be a kind. They chose this mentality.
You and I, talking to them for a while can not change their thinking tendency. Stop wasting your time and energy on such individuals. Say “yes! you are right.” and move on because you have a lot to do with your life and they have just no life.
All we can do is bring a change within. You change your surrounding and I will change mine. Together we can make a better place to live in. A positive and happy place.

Tip:

There’ll always be a bunch of people who you can not make happy. They will always have some or the other problems with you. Even if you try your best to get back the support you shower on them, they will find a reason or two to not be there. Let’s be happy in our circle and not waste time and emotions over others.

Colors

An emblem to happiness!
Let’s add it all to lives.
Our’s, their’s and everyone others’.
Let’s add colors to all we’ve.
Let’s paint all the scars, blue.
Lets paint all the abuses, green.
Let’s paint all the worries, red.
Let’s paint everything around.
And give them new faces.
A face to the world,world that has nothing negative,world that has all good vibes within.
Let’s build a world full of laughters, a world full of love, a world full of passion.
A world full of colors

Eclipse


The moon is gonna hide, there would be just no light.
Darkness will take over.
Fear will surround you.
Owls will hoot and dogs will bark, you’ll be scared imagining what’s gonna happen next.
Yes! There’s gonna be such nights in your life. It will not casually pass by but it will give you pain, will give you tears, will make you scared of arousing from your bed and walk to find a candle even.
There will be such damn scary nights in all phases of your efforts to success.
But wait! Hold on! That’s not the end. Remember that’s just a phase, because it’s not gonna last forever, because the rule of nature says every night gets ended with the Sun rising up and lightening your day.
Remember! There’s an end to all evils. There’s an end to all fear. There’s an end to all barriers. The #morning will find its way when the correct time arrives.
Be scared but don’t die.
Be broken but don’t give up.
Because the scariest nights give the brightest Sun.
Just believe in yourself and
I promise, you’ll shine!